How to Build Self Confidence

You want to be confident and feel confident, but what if you're starting with little or no confidence? How do you get from Point A to Point B? True self-confidence isn't an overnight acquisition. It takes dedication to realize you are a human being who is worthy of respect and love. If you want to know how to start building your self-confidence today.

1.Identify your talents. Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, and then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you've declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized. Express yourself, whether it's through art, music, writing, or dance. Find something you enjoy. Everyone is born with talents and strengths. You can develop and excel in yours. Plus, adding a variety of interests to your life will not only make you more confident, but it will increase your chances of meeting compatible friends.^[1]

• If it's difficult to name two or three things you have some ability in or just plain love to do, think about things others do that you would like to do too and take some lessons or join an enthusiasts club.
• When you're following your passion, not only will it have a therapeutic effect, but you'll feel unique and accomplished, all of which can help build your self confidence.

2.Take pride in your good qualities. Not only should you feel proud of your talents or your skills, but you should also think about the things that make your personality great. It can be your sense of humor, your sense of compassion, your listening skills, or your ability to cope under stress. You may not think that there's anything about your personality worth admiring, but if you dig deep, you'll realize that you have plenty of admirable qualities. Revel in them and write them down. You'll be on your way to building your self-confidence.

• Whenever you feel bad about one of your weaknesses, comfort yourself by thinking about all of the positive qualities about yourself. You'll see that they far outweigh the things you are insecure about.

3.Recognize your insecurities. What does that voice in the back of your mind say? What makes you uncomfortable or ashamed of yourself? This could be anything from acne, to regrets, friends at school or a past traumatic or negative experience. Whatever is making you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior, identify it, give it a name, and write it down. You can also tear these written pieces to start feeling positive on those points.

• This exercise isn't meant to bring you down or to make you realize that there was even more wrong with you than you thought. It's meant to make you aware of the problems you're dealing with, and will put you on the path to solving them.

4.Talk about it with friends and loved ones. Wear it on your sleeve. Each day you should chip away at it; wear it down. There's no quick fix. Get to the root of the problem; focus on it and understand that you need to resolve each issue before you can move on. Check if it's an old past emotion and if it is really still relevant or applicable in your life today. Just having someone to talk to about your problems can make you feel more confident, even if that person can't help you find a solution.^[2]

• This doesn't mean you have to get rid of whatever makes you feel bad (many times, you simply can't). You need to learn to accept yourself, your past, your circumstances as they are, without necessarily thinking of them as "bad".
• Just having a friend offer you encouragement can help you feel capable of tackling your insecurities. It'll be much harder to build up your self-confidence if you have to be your own cheerleader all the time.

5.Bounce back from your mistakes. Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road. And that often these insecure feelings come and go, depending on where we are, who we are with, the mood we're in, or how we are feeling. In other words, they are not constant. If you've made a mistake, the best thing you can do is to recognize it, apologize, and make a game plan for avoiding it in the future.

• Don't let one wrong turn make you think you don't have what it takes to achieve your dreams. Maybe you weren't a great boyfriend and your last relationship ended in failure. This doesn't mean you're not capable of turning your act around and finding love in the future.

6.Adopt a more positive mindset. Avoid self-pity, or the pity and sympathy of others. Never allow others to make you feel inferior — they can only do so if you let them. If you continue to loathe and belittle yourself, others are going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself, about your future, and about your progress. Do not be afraid to project your strengths and qualities to others. By doing so, you reinforce those ideas in your mind and encourage your growth in a positive direction.

• The next time you catch yourself having a negative thought, counter it with at least two positive ones. Make a habit of this until you feel the negative thoughts creeping out of your system.
• When you talk to your friends, focus on making many more positive comments than negative ones. You don't want to develop a reputation for being a whiner, and you also will feel more positive if you talk about more positive things.

7.Stop comparing yourself to others. If you want to build your self-confidence, then you have to focus on improving your own life for the better, not on making your life more like your best friend's, your older brother's, or like those of the celebrities you see on television. If you want to build up your confidence, then you need to know that there will always be someone who is prettier, smarter, and richer than you, just like there will always be someone who is less attractive, less intelligent, and less wealthy than you are; all of this is irrelevant, and what is relevant is caring about advancing your own goals and dreams.

• You may lack confidence because you're convinced that everyone else has it better than you do. Forget about them! At the end of the day, it only matters if you're happy by your own standards. If you have no idea what those are, then it's time to do some soul searching before you move forward.